When dating it is hard to not have expectations of the person you are interested in and going to matchmaking sites helps to eliminate some concerns. It is especially so in a gay relationship because society sets the bar so high. Homosexuality has been hit hard by society but it also has gained some ground for acceptance in recent years. Still, in as a single gay man in today’s world it is still difficult to find an accepting partner. It is truly amazing and refreshing to date someone who is open, accepting, and unbiased by the media toward homosexuality. I believe these top 5 are true for any sexual orientation.
Needless to say that there are red flag warning signs that come up when dating gay men let alone all genres of the human race ignore. Five of which usually flare up during the first date.
#1: He is comparing you to his ex and tells you several times that you remind him of the ex. There are several examples under this one and they are all legitimate and serious flags.
#2: He is flirting with others and checking them out instead of you. The age-old wandering eye continues to be in the top 5. Could be that he is trying to show you that he is irresistible to others but why is that something to attract you? Your partner should have eyes for you only.
#3: Meet me at the bar! Yeah no. This is a sure red flag that the bar scene is for him. May not be for you. Certainly not first date material. Even second or third dates at the bar are not cool. We need to be clear that the bar scene is not a place to get to know someone new. Especially if you are a regular and every gay man wants to say hi and meet the new date.
#4: He drinks way too fast and too much. Nothing says run faster than someone who abuses anything. Drinking socially can fun and make a great first date. However, it is obviously going to be a red flag when he encourages you to get high or drink at the same rate he does. Or if you don’t want to and he insists. Homosexuality is already an issue and adding mind altering drugs or alcohol to the mix doesn’t help. Being in full faculties and awareness is a must for safety among other things.
#5: Just out of recovery. This is a debatable one, however, is one easily ignored by gay men. It is encouraged to wait a year after a recovery program to start dating. The idea is that the focus is on recovery, not a new relationship. There are many variables in this instance but to be sure at least a year is recommended before hitting the dating scene. Don’t discourage recovery but be there as a friend until he is ready to focus on you.