April 2014 – posted on www.gomag.com

Ask the Expert | April 7, 2014

Dear Carol,
I have been dating someone I met on line who lives in a different city. We have begun a long distance relationship and over the last 6 months I have gone to visit her four times and she has only been here to visit me in New York once. She always has an excuse and seems to be way too busy to even make the time to talk to me on the phone more than once a week. Most of our correspondence is via email or text and I am beginning to get very frustrated and I am wondering if this is not a very one sided relationship? She seems to be able to make time for everything else in her life but me.

Dear Frustrated,
I have to be quite honest with you and let you know I would not consider this a relationship. You have begun dating someone who lives in a different city but: you have not begun a relationship. A relationship requires more than a once a week phone call and requires taking the effort to make the time for your partner. To begin with long distance relationships are always more difficult as you don’t get to meet each other when you have had a long day after work for a cocktail at your favorite local restaurant. It is hard enough to only see each other once a month; without feeling you are the only one doing all the work. I would say it is time to move on and look for a partner who is local and is willing to put the same time and effort into a relationship as you are.
Remember it takes two to build a relationship!

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