Clarifying Blurred Lines: How To Comfortably Discuss Being Exclusive

Love/Friendship Balance | August 1, 2016

The conversation of exclusivity is certainly a monumental topic that could potentially change your relationship forever. Although it can be uncomfortable, the rewards of having the conversation can pay off. It will ensure that both partners are on the same page and allow you to establish clear boundaries with your partner, avoiding any hostility due to expectations not being met.

• Don’t Rush the Timing

  Every relationship progresses at its own rate. However, it can be helpful for some couples to be equipped with general statistics as to the timing of things and whether or not it may be too soon (or not) to discuss the topic of exclusivity.

  According to a Google consumer survey, on average, most couples will have a discussion about exclusivity around four weeks time. Similarly, a study by Time found that couples decided to either continue the relationship or part ways after a total of six dates. Although every relationship is a single entity, these statistics provide a general guideline for the overall timing of how relationships tend to progress and could give you the confidence that it isn’t too early.

• Consider Your Own Expectations Before the Conversation

  It is important to consider your own needs and expectations before having the conversation. For example, could you continue to date your partner if he or she is not yet ready to become exclusive?

• Consider Starting the Conversation from a Health Perspective

  Largely due to a fear of rejection, it can be uncomfortable to tell your partner that you want to be exclusive. A comfortable way to begin the conversation is to approach it from a health perspective by discussing whether or not your partner is currently intimate with others. Their response may give you the confidence to continue the conversation toward the topic of exclusivity.

  Sometimes it can also be helpful to have an idea of the type of things you might say if the conversation were to progress positively. This can ensure that you stay on track and that the conversation flows smoothly.

• Remember That You Are Deserving of Love

  At the heart of the topic of exclusivity is the feeling of rejection. However, if you remember that you are worthy and deserve to be loved, this can give you a sense of self-confidence that it’s okay even if your partner is not feeling the same way as you.

For more information on how to comfortably approach the topic of exclusivity, contact the matchmaking experts at Bespoke for more information.