Dating Challenges for Shy Lesbian Women

Blog | April 21, 2015


Whether you are shy or not, being a lesbian woman who is rather femme and wants to meet another lesbian comes with lots of challenges. The invisibility most femme lesbian women experience can make it difficult to meet other women. Not only can they be invisible to other lesbians, but also to gay men and heterosexuals. Because femme lesbians look typically straight it makes it difficult to know if the woman you are attracted to is straight or a lesbian unless someone is in the same circle as you and recognizes her. Being shy and trying to meet someone makes it almost impossible. If you are too shy to initiate the conversation or respond with the same flirty tone, everyone just assumes you are straight.

So stop being shy and eyeing that cute femme across the room: go ahead and talk to her you may be the one to make her heart race. Here are a couple of the challenges of being a shy lesbian woman.

Feeling really nervous and inhibited

• If you are nervous and anxious about dating the fear is not easy to get over. You may be interested in a woman but are too nervous to approach her and start up a conversation. If she approaches you and you are terribly shy you may get totally flustered and tongue tied. The other problems that shy woman face is they often approach dating like looking for friends. The thought process is ‘let’s be friends first and then we will be lovers.’ The truth with that is your friends often just remain as friends and the lover part never happens. You have to be pure with your intentions from the start.

Shyness can often come across as being aloof or a snob

• If a woman is standing alone and not socializing with anyone she is immediately labelled as unfriendly. If she is attractive and shy it is even worse as people don’t seem to understand how she could possibly be shy and so beautiful and therefore they label her as being a snob and unapproachable. Another problem is the shy woman often get’s approached by people she would never have any interest in at all. The problem often becomes they don’t have a problem getting dates but it is often with a woman they are really not into. They are often inexperienced and worry, as they don’t just want to have a sexual relationship with just anyone. The fear of rejection is also a problem for most women but remember “it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.”

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