A common source of concern before a first date is the fear of empty silence and whether or not you and your date will have enough to talk about. One way to avoid an uncomfortable situation is to have a list of talking points prepared at the back of your mind. Not only will this reduce the risk of any uncomfortable silence but it will also ensure that your first date moves beyond small talk, allowing you to get to know your date on a more intimate level.
Talking Points to Avoid:
- Be Wary of Asking (and Revealing) Personal Questions Too Soon. When it comes to talking points, it is best to avoid asking personal and/or sensitive questions too quickly, even if you have the best intentions. This can trigger unpleasant reactions in your date. These types of questions should be asked in time, after you have created a safe and trusting space between the two of you. Similarly, avoid revealing too much about yourself too soon, which could suggest that you have boundary issues.
Great First Date Questions to Ask:
Good talking points often come down to ideal questions to ask your date. Here are some great questions that are lighter in nature, but can reveal important information about your date while leading into other topics of conversation.
- What is your favourite place in the world -or- have you ever been to X location?
- What is your favourite movie and why?
- What is your favourite way to spend the weekend?
- What’s your biggest goal in life?
- What makes you laugh?
Other Talking Point Tips:
- Use What Your Date is Saying as a Stepping Stone. The key to finding great talking points on a first date is to listen. This enables you to then take an interest in what it is your date is saying and to formulate questions based on this, which allows them to elaborate. It shows that you’re a great listener and are sensitive.
- “This Reminds Me When…” Listening to your date is bound to conjure up events from your own life, which can serve as a great way to bridge into your own funny anecdotes.
- “You Said That…” Although this may be your first date, it is likely that you have exchanged e-mails or have talked before. Bring this information into the conversation where applicable. It shows that you have taken an interest in your date’s life and genuinely care about what they’re saying.
Having conversations in mind will help you direct the conversation, should you experience a lull or get nervous. For more information, talk to our experts today!