If you’re in a same-sex relationship or looking for ‘the one,’ you may be wondering who does the proposing in a gay or lesbian relationship. With gender roles thrown out the window, this has become an increasingly ambiguous issue, even for straight couples — more and more women are taking it on themselves, and proposing to their beau instead of the other way around.
As your relationship progresses, you might begin to get nervous or confused about who should be popping the question. While there are ‘leaders’ in some relationships, the person who should officially propose to take things to the next level isn’t always immediately clear. What if you’re both waiting on the other to get down on one knee? What if you both want to ask each other, but don’t yet know it? These are all questions that you might be having, and we’re here to help.
So, Who Asks Who?
The short answer is that there is no right answer. We know; you probably came here looking for a concrete answer, but unfortunately, you won’t find a surefire solution to this question anywhere. However, what you will find in this article are some helpful things to consider when trying to figure out who should propose to who.
Deciding Who Pops the Question
Every relationship is different and the person who pops the question will be, too. The most important piece of advice we can give you here is to communicate with your partner. One person might be the natural leader in your relationship, so it might be them — or maybe they’re not comfortable being the one to ask. If you’re already planning a future together, then you should be comfortable enough talking about this topic, if it hasn’t come up in conversation already.
Sometimes one half of a couple simply can’t wait to get down on one knee, and others might be a little more hesitant. There’s no societal norm that should tell you when, where, how, or even who should pop the question. Think about your relationship and how beautifully unique it is — and remember that your engagement should be, too.
If your partner has always dreamed of being proposed to and you want to be the one to make it happen, then follow your heart. Or, if your significant other (SO) wants to be the one to get down and profess their love for you, you can let them be the one to ask.
Can Both of You Propose?
Of course! Like we said, there are no rules. In cases where couples just can’t decide who should be the one to get down on one knee, they can plan a day where they both plan to pop the question. Just because your engagement isn’t a surprise, doesn’t mean that it won’t be special. If you and your special someone both want to get down on one knee and profess your love for each other, then you should do just that. Deciding to get married is a mutual decision, and there’s no reason that taking the next step and getting engaged shouldn’t be, too.
What About Rings?
With straight couples, the wife-to-be is usually the only one that sports an engagement ring — but in 2018, even that tradition doesn’t seem to be holding true. It’s becoming more and more common for both partners to wear engagement rings, so don’t be afraid to go for it if you both want to don something a little sparkly to represent your love and commitment.
Some may think it’s taboo to choose your own wedding ring, but why shouldn’t you? It’s a symbol of your love and commitment, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with picking it out with your SO. Alternatively, you can both choose rings for each other and have it be a surprise.
Our Advice? Just Communicate
As you can see, it’s not just the proposal that depends on your relationship. It’s important to communicate with your partner — especially when it comes to planning your future. Each couple will have different visions for their engagement and wedding, so it’s important to keep the lines of communication open at all times. Just because it may seem like surprising your SO with a proposal may seem like the romantic thing to do, doesn’t mean that you can’t have conversations about it beforehand. While a surprise may be a grand gesture for some, others will want to be involved in the process and be a part of planning their special proposal.
Whatever you decide to do, ensure that it’s true to your relationship. Your engagement (and marriage) should reflect the love and commitment you have for each other — and what that looks like is completely up to you.
If you’re an LGBTQ single looking to settle down and find your perfect match, give Bespoke Matchmaking a call today. We offer in-depth matchmaking services that give you the best chance at having a meaningful connection with your match — on both a physical and emotional level. Our team will tailor our matchmaking services to your wants, needs, and goals, and we will do everything we can to make sure you find the best match for you.
For more information about our dating services, call us at 1-888-422-6464 or contact us here.