September 2015 – posted on

Ask the Expert | September 7, 2015

Dear Carol,
I am what most people call a serial dater. I have dated hundreds of guys but; have never settled down. I am getting older and my friends and family want to know when I am going to settle down. The idea of starting a family and being with one person is appealing, but; I am not sure if I have ever been “in love.” How do I know and what can I do?
Serial Dater

Dear Serial Dater,
First and foremost please have no fear even a serial dater can be tamed. You spend years jumping from one relationship to the other and knowing you are choosing people that just are not right for you. If they are into you then you are not that into them and if you are into them then they are not that into you. The truth is you don’t want to be alone and have no problem meeting someone new. You are not dating men that you have enough in common with or are compatible with to even have the possibility of making a love connection. Usually there is a physical attraction and the relationship often does not go beyond that. Serial Dater’s can fall in love if they give themselves the opportunity to open their hearts and minds to meeting the right person. Make sure you date someone who shares your values and you have some mutual interests and a similar lifestyle. It should be someone who is a compliment to your personality and certainly not a clone. We don’t have a crystal ball that lets us know if he is the one and not everyone you meet will be the one. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and date someone there is a possibility to have a future with. You will be shocked to know that sometimes what you are looking for is often right in front of you. Stop choosing men that you know there is no possibility of a future with and start dating men that you are attracted not only to their bodies but; their minds and hearts. Before you know it you will look into someone’s eyes and not only see love but feel love. If you need help finding that right person use the help of a matchmaker. I am confident love is right around the corner waiting for you.

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