When Should You Say “I Love You”?

Dating Tips | November 20, 2017

Saying those first three words, I love you, is a highlight and milestone in any relationship. As such, there’s a lot of discussion and conflicting advice around the topic, including the typical advice that people should wait at least two months before saying it. But is there a right time?

Timing Does Not Matter

Love develops and is expressed at different rates for everyone. This is dependent on a myriad of factors; it is different for men and women and it can even differ based on personality types. The same is true for your partner. Above all, however, there is no acceptable timeline as to when you should say those three words for the first time.

While romantic etiquette might suggest that you shouldn’t say I love you to someone you only recently met (after all, you can really only know if you love someone in time), it all comes down to honesty. If you truly feel that you love your partner, you can feel comfortable expressing those thoughts at any point in the relationship, even if they have not said the same to you.

Saying it too “soon,” as is sometimes suggested, is typically not going to affect the course of your romantic relationship. The important thing to note, however, is that you have to accept that those feelings may not be initially reciprocated. Again, going back to the earlier point, everyone develops and expresses their feelings at different rates.

Patience Is Also Important

Although the above would suggest that timing isn’t important, in some ways it is.

It is important not to rush to say “I love you.” Expressing those words for the first time should be real and true. If you are putting pressure on your relationship to reach that milestone and are saying those words too early, this false sense of love can be harmful to your relationship.

There is really no rush in saying these words to your partner. Once you say them for the first time you will never be able to say them again. The first time you tell your partner that you love them will be a time that you remember forever and should be cherished and said when the time is right.

The Takeaway

There is no timeline in terms of romantic etiquette. You should say “I love you” when you know you are in love fully and wholeheartedly — not because you have been been dating for a certain amount of time or because you feel you should.

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